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POSTAL 2 achievements, rarest first.
Every achievement in POSTAL 2, ranked by how many Steam players have unlocked it. Global completion rates from Steam, refreshed daily.
The rarest achievement
Harder than r/gonewild
3.0%
of players
- Achievements
- 89
- Rarest
- 3.0%
- Ultra rare (under 5%)
- 23
- Average completion
- 16%
1
Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
3.0%
2
My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
3.1%
3
Adderall4All
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
3.1%
4
Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
3.3%
5
Ode to EddingsHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
3.3%
6
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
3.4%
7
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
3.6%
8
PooMasherHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
3.7%
9
Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
3.7%
10
40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
3.8%
11
Hobo SexualHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
3.8%
12
Ladies Love CakeHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
3.8%
13
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
4.1%
14
Gary vs. The K. ManHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
4.1%
15
Anustart!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
4.2%
16
BioShocked
Spent $2000 on vending machines.
4.4%
17
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
4.5%
18
Dick MessageHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
4.5%
19
Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion.
4.6%
20
Ape GapeHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
4.6%
21
Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
4.7%
22
SCREW that game!Hidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
4.7%
23
Gettin DP'd
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
4.8%
24
Hello, Newman
Kicked 30 dogs.
5.0%
25
Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
5.4%
26
Uncle T-Bag
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
5.5%
27
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
5.5%
28
Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
5.6%
29
Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame.
6.0%
30
Ginger MintHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
6.0%
31
Cesar Millan is Very Happy
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
6.3%
32
I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
6.4%
33
Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy.
6.7%
34
One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death.
7.0%
35
GABAGOOOOOL!
Reunited with an old friend.
8.1%
36
Señor Cornballer
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
8.2%
37
John Rambo'd!Hidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
8.4%
38
Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
8.5%
39
Found 'em faster than GWBHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
8.5%
40
Chapelle's Show
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
8.7%
41
I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day.
8.9%
42
Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
9.0%
43
Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
9.0%
44
Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days.
9.1%
45
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars.
9.8%
46
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
9.8%
47
RAFIBOMB!!!
Kicked 10 people in the balls.
10%
48
Shiva Blast
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
10%
49
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
10%
50
There's always money in the banana standHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
10%
51
I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
11%
52
Chuck Norris'd!
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
11%
53
Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
13%
54
A-Rod Who?
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
13%
55
I'm not even supposed to be here today!Hidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
13%
56
You are not aloneHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
14%
57
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
Survived Saturday.
14%
58
Darth Maul'd!
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
14%
59
Door Mat
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
14%
60
FAB-U-LOUS!
Wore all three outfits.
15%
61
Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
16%
62
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people.
18%
63
Gotta pay the Troll TollHidden
Hidden achievement. Description revealed on unlock.
18%
64
Workin' for the Weekend
Survived Friday.
19%
65
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
19%
66
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
20%
67
Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
20%
68
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire.
20%
69
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Survived Thursday.
22%
70
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
22%
71
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
25%
72
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
Survived Wednesday.
28%
73
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
28%
74
Fur Sure!
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
32%
75
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
32%
76
Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
32%
77
Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
32%
78
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
34%
79
C U Next Tuesday
Survived Tuesday.
34%
80
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire.
36%
81
It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss.
37%
82
Here, Wilfred
Gained your first dog helper.
46%
83
Officer McLovin'
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
46%
84
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
49%
85
Duck Dynasty
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
49%
86
Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
Survived Monday.
53%
87
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door.
57%
88
Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
62%
89
R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
68%
Percentages are Steam's global unlock rates across all players who own POSTAL 2, refreshed daily. Under 5% is marked in the lit blue.